As you lay on your deathbed, what thoughts will go through
your mind? Will it be filled with warm memories of a life well lived? Will it
be filled with thoughts of people you loved, and who love you? Will it be
filled with pleasure, or will it be filled with regret?
My guess is that most of us will have a combination of all
of these. I don’t have a lot of regrets. Part of that is because I believe that
our mistakes are part of our becoming the person that we are. I’ve certainly
made my share of mistakes. I do have a few regrets. I regret that I didn’t
stick up for myself more when I was younger. Mostly I regret that I didn’t take
the time to be kinder.
Now, I am not by nature an unkind person. I am, however, a
busy person. I am a fixer, a doer, someone who listens with action in mind.
When I was younger, there were always a million things that needed to be done,
a child who needed attending to, a church program that needed working, a meal
that needed cooking or a room that needed cleaning. I was always in a hurry. I
wish I had listened more. I wish I had taken time to sit in the park and listen
to the lonely mother, or the grandmother. I wish that when I had taken a meal
to a sick friend I had stopped for a moment to listen.
Let us not become weary in doing good,
for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us
do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of
believers. Galatians 6:9-10
I know that sometimes I got tired of
being sensitive to every one else’s needs. Sometimes I had a misguided sense of
what was important. There were clothes that needed washing and dinners to cook.
Maybe I would have taught my kids better about what was really important if I
had stopped for a minute, and done a kind thing. Mostly I regret the
relationships I missed out on or slighted by not taking the time to be kind.One author says that true love equals listening. People want to be heard. People need to be heard.
God gives us to each other, to help
each other, to lift each other up. We are also given to each other for our
benefit, to remind us that while sometimes we are the giver, other times we
are the receivers of relationship, of compassion and kindness, of help.
Sometimes when we stop and take a minute to listen or to reach out in
compassion, the one we really help is us. When we fail to do the kind thing,
when we are too busy to stop and listen, the one who loses is us. And the other
person.
Heaven is made up of the Body of
Christ, you and me, living in eternal relationship. The laundry and the job and
the errands and the programs are temporal. You and I are eternal. When we do
good, when we are kinder and more sensitive, when we love, we are investing in
the eternal. When we set aside ourselves and our excuses, we live into the
perfect eternity that we are already a part of.
When I die, will my tombstone say, “This
wasn’t on her to-do list,” or will it say, “She loved well.” I’m learning to
live for the latter.
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