Exercising Discipline

I will confess that I have never seen such patience in a young mother. She was clearly being tried. She was tired. She just wanted to pick up the groceries she needed, pay for them and get them and her little guy home.

The young prince was obviously in charge. He climbed out of the cart. Mom put him back in with a quiet admonition not to climb out. He climbed out again, this time taking down a display on his way. Mom put him back in the cart, made a feeble attempt at picking up the cans on the floor, and pushed the cart forward. He leaned dangerously far out of the cart, grabbed a box of cookies and threw them in the back. Mom put them back. He grabbed them again, this time ripping them open, spilling half on the floor and stuffing a handful into his mouth. Mom just looked at him, told him to sit down, and tried to continue on with her shopping. He sat down and stuffed another handful of cookies into his mouth, which was by now bulging like a squirrel with a cheek full of peanuts. I chose a different aisle to go down, unwilling to watch any longer.

My heart went out to this Mom. She thought she was being loving by being patient and not losing her temper. She was wrong.

All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields that peaceful fruit of righteousness. Hebrews 12:11

This mom didn’t realize what a disservice she was doing to her son. She had neglected to discipline him, and now he was an out-of-control monster whom no one wanted to be around. Discipline in anger is wrong, but not disciplining is also wrong.

Sometimes parents don’t discipline out of a sense of guilt, feeling like they are with their children for such a short amount of time and don’t want to spend what little time they have being the mean guy. Or maybe they are just tired and figure if they can ignore bad behavior it will soon be bedtime, and they will get some peace. The reality is that nobody gets peace in this scenario.

The word discipline scares us. It conjures up visions of nuns with rulers or that OCD person who keeps every paperclip in meticulous order on his desk and knows instinctively when his stapler has been moved. In reality, discipline is freedom. It is freedom to act, knowing that we’ve trained our responses to be appropriate. It is freedom to think, knowing we’ve trained our minds to clear and logical. It is freedom to feel, knowing we’ve given even our emotions to the Holy Spirit and so will not be ruled by them.

But have nothing to do with worldly fables and old wives tales. On the other hand, discipline yourself for the purpose of Godliness. I Timothy 4:7

Without discipline, we are ships without an anchor, blown around by every wind of discord and desire. Just as we discipline our bodies through diet and exercise to be the physical best we can be, we need accept the discipline of God, and to apply discipline to our spiritual selves through prayer, reading of scripture, participation in solitude and service, and through other disciplines that submit our time and energy and passion to God.

Without discipline we are like the young prince in the grocery store. We do what we want when we want to, ignoring the instruction of the Holy Spirit, and then wonder why our lives are a mess. We must discipline ourselves in live in obedience, knowing the Bible so that we know what we are to obey, and training ourselves to listen, so that when the Holy Spirit speaks we can recognize his voice.

If we want to be Godly people, living as his beloved, we must exercise discipline. If we desire the peaceful fruit of righteousness, we need to submit to the discipline of our loving Father.

Loving My Neighbor

Those who studied the law frequently questioned Jesus. Some of them had honest questions while others viewed it as a game, looking for loopholes or ways to get out of their obligations. One of these students asked Jesus about the commandment to love God completely and to love his neighbor as himself. He asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?”

Jesus answered this question by telling a story, one that is familiar to most of us. A certain man was traveling home and on the way robbers attacked him, leaving him by the side of the road to die. A priest and a Levite passed by, crossing to the other side of the road. Sounds like the beginning of a joke, doesn’t it? No joke, though. They ignored the wounded man.

Jesus doesn’t tell us why they passed by. There could have been reasons. Had either of them touched a dead body they would have been ineligible to serve in the temple that day. They could have been in a hurry for some reason, or without resources to help the man. The reason doesn’t seem to matter. There was a man in need, and they didn’t act out of any kind of compassion.

A third man came along the road, and he stopped. He treated and bandaged the injured man’s wounds, put him up on his donkey and took him to an inn where he could be cared for. He then paid the innkeeper to take care of him. This man was a Samaritan. The Jewish man who was being cared for might have refused his help had he known. Samaritans were considered defilers of the faith. They were descended from Jews who had interbred with Gentiles, mixing religions as well as genetics, and they didn’t worship in Jerusalem. They had built their own temple. Samaritans and Jews hated each other.

And still, the Samaritan felt compassion for the Jewish man. Would the Jewish man have done the same for the Samaritan? We can’t know for sure, but I doubt it.

Jesus gets to the heart of the matter.

Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robbers’ hands? Luke 10:36

Notice that Jesus didn’t ask who the Samaritan man’s neighbor was. He asked who had acted as a neighbor. The Samaritan was the neighbor. This would imply to the lawyer asking the question that the Samaritan was his neighbor. Not only that, but the Jewish lawyer was to go and follow his example.

We all have people who offend us. They smell bad or they are fat or ugly or their religion offends us. We dislike their politics. We hate the way they raise their kids. We are to be a neighbor to them. No excuses. We are to feel compassion. No valid reasons not to. We are to reach out in love to those we find most repulsive. Jesus tells us to.

Why did the Christian cross the road? To love on the other side… Cross the road of poverty, of race and nationality and sexuality, the road of whatever it is that offends you, to reach your neighbor.

Who is my neighbor? You are.

Interceeding for Each Other

My friend is hurting tonight. I want to do something practical, something significant. Unfortunately I don’t have any of the resources that she needs, and this is a situation where even if I had all the resources in the world it wouldn’t be enough to ease her pain. I tell her that I will pray for her, feeling helpless. Saying I will pray feels like a cop-out. It feels like the thing Christians say when there is nothing we can do but don’t want to look weak.

The fact is that praying for each other is most we can do. Anything beyond that is icing on the cake or gravy on the biscuits. Praying for another person is what we call Intercessory Prayer. Its lifting each other up before the throne of grace and laying the other at the feet of Jesus, trusting that he will be the answer to our prayer. It is a great privilege.

Let us therefore draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

Why do we ever hesitate to pray for each other? I think there are a variety of reasons. We don’t want to offend the other person, as if they would be insulted to have you imply that they might need help. We all need help. I can tell you that when asked, “May I pray for you?” I have never had someone say, “No.” I’m sure there are some people who will, some who have so hardened their hearts toward God that they refuse to ask for his help, but I think it’s rarer than we might imagine.

Another reason we hesitate is because we overcomplicate prayer. I recently read these guidelines for intercessory prayer:

Always be creative and specific (because God doesn’t know the real need or might get bored).

         Don’t pray in front of the person (because you will remember, or they might get offended and promises are so easy to keep!)

         Make sure your prayers are positive and nice (because God doesn’t know how you really feel, or what, or who, the real problem is)

         Fill your prayer with words (because silence is so uncomfortable and a waste of time)

         Stay on track (because God can’t use your imagination, nor can he direct your prayer or bring people to mind)

         Don’t pray scripture (because God wrote those words and can’t know how I feel)

My comments are in parenthesis. I’m sorry if they are a little snarky. I don’t know who wrote these guidelines, but they are silly at best and at worst discourage us from praying. How we pray isn’t important. Just pray!

And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26

Don’t worry about rules or guidelines, just pray. Share your heart with God. Just as a loving Father desires to share the hurts and joys and concerns and agony of his children, so God desires to have you bring the things that weigh your heart down to him. He wants to share your pain. The God who created everything and has all the resources of his divine nature at his fingertips wants to help in your situation. Call me crazy, but I think that’s Someone I want on my team!

It is said that intercessory prayer is reaching to God with one hand and to my friend with the other, in order to bring them together.

Tonight I am praying for my friend. I am praying for healing, for peace and especially for comfort. She can only find that in the arms of God, so I reach to him with one hand, and to her with the other, and I place her in his lap to receive the love of her Father.

Will you pray with me?

Soft or Stony Hearts

The people of Israel had been conquered and scattered among the nations. God had removed his Spirit from the temple, and they felt abandoned. They had been warned of what would happen if they did not repent, turn away from idol worship and turn to God alone. They did not turn to God, and so he had exiled them. This was a punishment that was for their own good, to bring them back into relationship with God. He didn’t intend to leave them scattered and in slavery. He sent Ezekiel to encourage them, and to prepare them for their restoration.

I shall gather you from the peoples and assemble you out of the countries among which you have been scattered, and I shall give you the land of Israel. When they come there, they will remove all its detestable things and all its abominations from it. And I shall give them one heart, and shall put a new spirit within them. And I shall take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statutes and keep my ordinances, and do them. Then they will be my people, and I shall be their God. Ezekiel 11:17-20

God would restore them. He would not abandon them to their sin but would bring them home. And then he would do the most amazing thing! He would remove their hard heart, their heart of stone, and give them instead a soft heart, a tender heart of flesh. Then they would be his people, and he would be their God.

This same thing happens to us. We sin. We refuse to turn away from the idolatry in our lives, and instead continue to worship power or money or ourselves. God withdraws his blessing. But he does not abandon us. He draws us unto himself. When we respond with repentance, he gives us one heart and one Spirit, so that we are part of one body to worship him. He removes our old, hard heart and replaces it with a heart of flesh, a soft and responsive heart.

Too many times we hang on to our old stony heart. We refuse to see our own sin, rationalizing it away. We look at others without any compassion, seeing only their faults and mistakes. We miss the look of hurt on our spouses face when we make flip and harsh comments, disguising it as humor. We overlook the tender feelings of a little boy or girl who just wants to feel significant in your eyes. We tear each other down instead of building each other up. We push ahead without ever seeing the people God has put around us, those who need our encouragement. We see the power of a leader instead of the breaking heart or the wealth of a coworker instead of the loneliness that she lives in. We choose a heart of stone.

God has given us a heart of flesh, a soft, responsive heart that reaches out to individuals regardless of their immigration status, their sexuality, their skin color or their gender. We have hearts capable of empathy regardless of social status, wealth, power or lack of it. We have soft hearts capable of loving like God does, of being his representative and of reconciliation.

Being soft requires that we are open to being hurt. Being soft sets aside old wounds and scars and loves anyway. A heart of stone can hide behind political affiliations, social mores and emotional walls; a heart of flesh cannot.

Jesus loved regardless of the cost. He who was God chose a heart of flesh, and loved us recklessly. He knew we would fail him, betray him, reject him. His people had done so consistently from the garden forward. And still he chose to love us and to reach to us, providing a way for us to be with him in relationship.

How can we do less? Only by holding on to our heart of stone.

Who has God put in your life to love today? Who are you hardening your heart against? What little person or poor person or illegal person or smelly person is God calling you to soften your heart toward?

Not too long ago God called me to love a group of ladies. I didn’t want to. Love requires vulnerability. I never agreed to love them; I just agreed to join them, as God was being pretty persistent about it. People are messy. We all carry around our own baggage that we’d just as soon leave somewhere else. We certainly don’t want to open it up and share it with others. I joined the group, God softened my heart, and I am so surprised by how much I love them. If I had chosen to keep my stony heart I would have missed out on so much blessing and kindness and friendship. When we choose to remain hard, we forget that sometimes the mess we’re avoiding is our own.

Soften your heart. Allow God to love through you. Allow God to love you through others.

A Word of Encouragement

It had been one of those days. One of those weeks, really. Nothing major happened, but a series of small discouragements and disappointments wore at me like sharp little pebbles in my shoe, wearing me down and causing me to limp. I woke up tired, and weariness marked my day.

I went to check the mail, and one little piece of paper changed my entire outlook. There in the mail was a cheery little card from a friend. She and I were in similar situations, and she more than anybody knew how I felt. Just seeing her curly-q handwriting lifted my spirit. The effect was multiplied when I actually open the envelope and saw the love that was embossed there with every word.

Therefore encourage one another, and build up one another, just as you also are doing. I Thessalonians 5:11

We have been given to each other, members of one body to lift each other up, support each other and encourage each other. We have been bound together and gifted for the good of the one body. Like red blood cells that rush to the site of wound to cleanse it and begin the healing process, God gave us to each other for our cleansing and healing.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near. Hebrews 10:23-25

My friend didn’t know anything about my no-good week. She is by nature an encourager. Some of us have to work harder at it than others. But all of us can be an encouragement to someone. Jesus uses us to love each other, to stimulate each other to love and good works, and to embody his love to us. He encourages us through each other. Your arms are his arms around me.

How will you be an encourager today? It’s not hard to be an encourager, but it does take deliberation. If we are not purposeful, it won’t happen. We don’t need to wait to see someone who needs encouragement. My friend mailed a card without knowing what was going on in my life. Sometimes it’s just a smile in a check out line, or a bench shared in the park. Sometimes it’s a note, or a word that reminds someone that the sun is still shining on him. Maybe it’s a hug without an explanation, or a prayer sent over Facebook.

My friend is gifted in encouragement. I am not. But I am called to it. Jesus wants us to point each other to him, to lift each other before his throne and lay each other in his lap. You can be an encourager. Someone else may need you today. Step up!

Tested and True

This past weekend I took the final class to complete my training to be a life and success coach. I had to sit in on sixty hours of training, read thirteen books by experts in the field, write papers on each book plus an additional five or six papers, spend hours being evaluated by a master coach and then at the very end I had to pass a comprehensive test. Without any of the previous steps I could not have passed the test. The test was important, because it reflected all of the previous work I had put in. It was a measurement of how effective I can be as a coach. If I didn’t pass the test, I couldn’t be certified.

As for God, his way is blameless. The word of the Lord is tested; He is a shield to all who take refuge in him. For who is God, besides the Lord? And who is a rock, besides our God? 2 Samuel 22:31-32

David spoke these words, recorded by his friend and the prophet of God, both of whom had tested God and found him faithful. God, and his word, had been tested. When enemies surrounded David, God proved faithful. When Samuel needed guidance in choosing Israel’s king, he turned to God, and God proved faithful. This testing proved the character and worth of God and his word.

What do you need shielding from today? Are you being assaulted by pain? Attacked by doubt or despair or depression? Are you in need of a solid rock to hold on to in the shifting sands of your life today? As the ground moves beneath your feet, turn to God and hang on. He has been tested, and he passed!

Too often when my finances are short (again!) or I feel inadequate to whatever task is in front of me, when I feel like I’ve bitten off more than I can chew or chewing seems too painful, I rely on my own resources instead of turning to the God who passed the test. I am now a life coach, but I am not God. That’s one test I fail every time.

David asks, “Who is God, besides the Lord?” David figured it out. He could not do God’s job. He could only be David, weak and insufficient except when he relied on God. When I rely on my own resources, I will fail. It’s God’s job to strengthen me, to work in his own way and time, and it’s my job to rely on him. When I don’t turn to him and his tested word, I am putting myself in his place, doing his job, and being God unto myself. This is idolatry. It is worship of myself in place of God.

He is the only rock we can lean on. He is the only strength that is sufficient. He is the only security that is real. He passes every test. Trust him. Let him do his job.

Exchanging Burdens for Peace

I was in a foul mood. I woke up grumpy, my cell phone dinging at me and dragging me out of a dream that was more of a nightmare. I stood and stared into the fridge, hoping something that resembled breakfast would make itself known. No such luck. My hair looked like someone had attacked me with an immersion blender while I slept. How does that happen?

The day didn’t get any better. I was reading the most boring business book ever for a class I was taking. Bonanza was preempted for a speech by the President. I was out of my favorite tea.

I felt burdened. I was carrying a heavy load, and even my posture showed it in my slumped shoulders and slouchy back. There was nothing major, not one particular item of concern that weighed me down. It was the accumulation of small things, silly things, which I allowed to rob me of joy.

Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden, the God who is our salvation.

Psalm 68:19

God is present and willing to bear our burdens. He already did everything necessary for salvation, and now he is willing to daily bear our burdens. In the midst of my grumpy day, not once did I turn to him and give him my burdens. I kept them to myself, and allowed the weight that I didn’t have to carry to cause me pain and steal my joy. How foolish is that?!

Earlier in the same chapter of Psalms we are told that God is everything we need. He embodies whatever it is we lack:

A father to the fatherless and a judge for the widows is God in his holy habitation. God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity. Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land. Psalm 68:5-6

Did you catch that last part? Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land. That’s where I was hanging out, in a parched land. No refreshing water. No green grass or still water. Just desert. The sad thing is that it was a desert of my own choosing. When we rebel against God we rebel against the love and care he has for us. The only person we hurt is us.

God is present. He wants to bear our burdens, your burdens, my burdens, daily. He is accessible to us, and is the answer to every need. We can draw near to him, knowing that he wants good things for us.

Let us therefore draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and may find grace to help us in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

If you are suffering today, walking through a desert of your own making, stop. If your desert is bigger than you can handle, and you’re not sure how you got there, sit down. God is here. Draw near to him. Give him your burden. Let him carry it. He can handle it. Burdens that cripple us are light to him.

Now may the Lord of peace himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance.

The Lord be with you all! 2 Thessalonians 3:16

Truly Free

This past week we here in America celebrated the 4^th of July, our Independence Day. I will confess that I am not a huge fan of this holiday. I don’t like the noise. It’s unsettling to me, like thunder. I don’t like the fire danger, or the huge numbers of people who engage in unsafe behavior. (I once had a friend who blew a crater in the vacant lot next door to our house. All I could do was shake my head and be grateful that no one was hurt.) I don’t like to spend money on fireworks. It feels like burning money. I feel sorry for all the freaked out pets.

What I am a huge fan of is America. I believe that it is an awesome place to live. Whatever climate you desire can be found someplace here. I love the blue ocean and the beaches of California, the wildlife that abounds in Montana and Alaska, the urban centers of New York City and Chicago, and the mountains of Washington and Oregon. (I am especially partial to the Pacific Northwest, but that’s another blog!) I am proud to live in a place that values freedom, and that is willing to stand up for the rights of people all over the world to live in peace. I am proud to live in a place that is willing to stand up for the oppressed, and that is so generous in giving to those in need.

I am not saying that this is the only awesome place in the world. I’m just saying that even with our problems, our disagreements and our issues, this is still an awesome place to live.

As an American and as a Christian, there are three points I strive to keep in mind:

1. Living here is a blessing, but God blesses in many ways. Don’t confuse being American with being in the center of God’s will. Am I more blessed than the Christian who is undergoing oppression in China? Is my material wealth a measure of God’s pleasure with me? If we measure God’s blessing in physical or material terms, we have missed the true blessing.

Anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:38-39

         2. The ideal of freedom is Godly, but Godly freedom is

different, and not dependent on physical freedom.

If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:31-32

         3. I am a Christian, and I am American. I don’t confuse the

         two. They are not synonymous. Nations come and go, but

         salvation is eternal.

Living in America comes with responsibilities. Living as a Christian comes with responsibilities. As an American, I should be involved in how my country is run, and be working to change that which is against our values. I should vote. I should speak loudly. As a Christian, I should be standing up for justice for all people, and I should be living in a way that speaks Christ into every life and situation. Real freedom is living in relationship with Jesus. He is our way, our truth, and our life. We cannot come to the Father except through him.

As you go, preach this message: “The Kingdom of Heaven is near.” Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons.

Freely you have received, freely give.

Matthew 10:7-8

Even as Americans, we are citizens of a different place. We are visitors here. Our true home awaits us. We must be careful not to confuse the two.

Words of My Heart

Today is a bit of a hallmark for me. This is my 100^th post on this blog. (Or its my 101st, depending on which count is accurate.) I’ve been doing this for just short of a year.  Accordingly, it seems like its time to re-evaluate. Should I keep writing? Do I have anything left to say? Is God still using me in this endeavor? I know HE has lots to say.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way that you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalm 32:8

God is watching us, and giving us instruction tailored just for us. He gives us direction and teaches us with his eye firmly upon us. So whether I have much to say or not, God does, and I would be wise to listen.

A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word! Proverbs 15:23

Most of the time I write in this blog the things God is dealing with in my own life. He uses it to help me flesh out what he is telling me, to clarify what he is teaching me. Occasionally I sidestep the issues I am dealing with. I don’t want you to know how shallow or unfaithful or disobedient I am.

And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned.

Matthew 12:36-37

I can promise you, though, that I never write casually, or flippantly. I try to inject a little humor, but I know that our growth in Christ, yours and mine, is important both to you and to God. I take that seriously. The words of life are too important to take lightly.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, Oh Lord, my rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

This is my prayer. Let the words of my pen, my computer, my heart be pleasing to God. Let me speak only words of life. Let me be an encouragement, someone who spurs others on to love and good works. Let my heart touch yours, so that our hearts can touch His.

I do feel that we are on this adventure together. If you enjoy reading this, would you let me know what you like, what you’d like to see more of, or what topics you’d like to see addressed. One reader told me that the font was too small, making it hard to read, so recently you may have noticed that its bigger. Is it big enough? If you hate what I write and think I should just quit, I want to know that too. Well, I sort of want to know that. Be kind, please. Thank you to those of you who point out typos and errors so that I can correct them. Its hard to proof read your own writing!

Thank you for joining me in what started as a school assignment and ended up being a labor of love.